Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Something Wonderful Is About To Happen!

The last year and a half for me, and probably longer actually, has been a time of change. At times, it has been extremely difficult emotionally and I have battled depression on a regular basis.  The optimistic folks in my life excitedly refer to this stage as a Transformation, like it is some great happy thing.  However, it often doesn't feel like that at all, and I am grateful on many days simply to be physically healthy and financially solvent and capable of reaching out for support if I need it, which I usually do.
Anyway, the point in sharing this is that at times I use guided meditations as a way of dealing with my "transformation".  My friend Kara shared with me that Bellaruth Naperstack (nice name, eh?) has these audio meditations which help the subconcious mind to help you put yourself in a place to heal, emotionally and physically.  When life feels the bleakest, I can listen to one of these meditations which I hope then will somehow spur my brain to figure out how to be joyful again.
There is one audio for "Grief".  It lasts about half an hour, and I would agree that it has helped me, more than once.  Like everyone else who resorts to listening to this meditation, I feel very dark and depressed when I do.  So you can imagine how annoying it is, after Bellaruth has coached me through deep, cleansing breaths, when she says "You imagine that something wonderful is about to happen!".   My peaceful breathing is always immediately interrupted as I think (or sometimes shout) "I AM TOO FREAKING DEPRESSED TO IMAGINE THAT SOMETHING WONDERFUL CAN HAPPEN!!!".  

However, it has been at least a month since I have listened to Bellaruth tell me that, and today, I can imagine that something wonderful is going to happen.   This wonderful something is a puppy named Rosie who is waiting for me to pick her up from Wausau on Friday.  Wahooooo!  A PUPPY!   A puppy!!  A PuPpY!!!

I can not imagine one thing more wonderful than a puppy. 

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